Iris
No one asked
Who cares
You’ve got two ears and one mouth for a reason
Just shut up
Just grow up
Just cover up
Just lose some weight
Just look more natural
You're ugly without makeup
Just don't talk too loud
Just stop laughing
Geez why are you so uptight
Just smile more
Just stop faking so much
How many 'justs' till it's no longer an only
How many more days weeks months years until I break under the pressure
From every side the walls caving in on me under the weight of
Expectation until I fall and hug my knees and turn into a ball a marble a grain of sand
In the middle of the ocean getting tossed and turned by the waves of the voices
Louder and louder and louder and louder and louder and louder
Until
Silence
Screaming whispering silence
A noise so loud it can’t be heard
A million points made without a word
Now come back out to the real world
Of traffic and wind and fans and ringing phones and alarms and talking and screaming
And screaming and screaming and screaming and screaming
A million voices screaming at you to change be better
How many more till I fall down
Will this be the straw to break the camel's back
The step across the line
The final bell
The end
But I pick up my foot and set it down and keep my eyes on the road
And listen to the voices
And do what they want
As best as I can
Because if I figure out this puzzle
Then I will be
Perfect
An unachievable un-existent constant
A goal moving farther away the faster you run towards it
The nonexistent boundaries of perfection being redefined by the second
As every living thing tries to reach this invisible infinity
This never ending oblivion
So when I become perfect
There will be no more shouted out demands
No more questions
No more justs
Until a second later
When one person changes their mind
And decides I’m no longer
Perfect
Well guess what?
You're perfect just the way you are
Says the voice that was just telling you to fix everything about you
Be yourself, make your own decisions
They scream
But their whispers about every word you speak will flood your brain
Until you're drowning, gasping for breath
Have your own opinions, don’t let anyone change what you think
But they’ll judge every thought that passes through your mind
Until you just
Stop
Thinking
At all
So that the biggest question
The constantly avoided inevitable
Will never be answered since it's never been asked
The forbidden thought of
Why?